


step by step

by Layni1771



Series: Stray Kids AUs [14]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Broken Dreams, Finding New Dreams, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, No Dialogue, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Romance, Serious Injuries, all my romance is just over 1k, hi seungjin still makes me soft, or 3k, there is no in-between, this is middle school years on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 14:46:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14956646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Layni1771/pseuds/Layni1771
Summary: They don't kiss.





	step by step

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~ I am back from my tiny break to post probably my favorite Seungjin writing I've done, finally. I've been waiting to finally get this one up, I'm very fond of it.  
> I lowkey like only accomplished four writing pieces during the break which, trust me, is not enough, but it's gonna have to do. I still have time before I catch up. Anyway, thank you for all of your support and well-wishes! I hope you enjoy!

They don't kiss.

There isn't a specific reason behind this, it is just simply a fact and not one that either of them mind. Hyunjin and Seungmin love each other more than one could imagine, and they did not need lip contact to solidify those feelings. Instead, their relationship is filled with casual, gentle touches and love-filled glances and softly spoken words underneath flickering lights. It is tasting coffee at three a.m. when they can't sleep and staring straight at the sun until they are blinded and giggling and stumbling around together like fools. It is screaming into microphones at karaoke and pushing each other into streams when hiking through mountains just for the hell of it.

This is how Seungmin and Hyunjin love each other, and it is beautiful and intimate in its own right.

Originally, they meet at thirteen years old, both awkward and uncomfortable and suffering more than a few voice cracks in every sentence. Seungmin's chin has a terribly embarrassing pimple on it and Hyunjin has a black eye from dropping his IPOD on his face while laying in bed the night before. It is the first day back from an extended break and the schedules have been changed, so they miraculously end up sitting next to each other in Korean class and spend the entire last half of their first year of middle school cheesily sliding notes and eating melon bread on the roof they were told to never go on. Hyunjin learns that Seungmin plays the piano and Seungmin learns that Hyunjin likes to play soccer. They call each other best friends and have a sleepover at Hyunjin's when the year is over.

At fourteen years old, Seungmin tries out for various entertainment companies. Not one comes back with positive results and Hyunjin spends most of his time trying to rebuild the younger's shattered confidence. They go on walks to the park and eat ice cream until their stomachs hurt, and Hyunjin does stupid tricks with his soccer ball just to bring out his best friend's smile. Seungmin appreciates his effort but he feels like his dreams of singing are being shattered and he does not want comfort. He wants to sing on stage and have everyone in awe over the angelic voice that belongs to Kim Seungmin. But he now knows that there is no angelic voice belonging to Kim Seungmin and so he drowns himself in homework and allows himself to be dragged out of the house by the older boy and cuddles with his best friend's dog so that his fur can soak up the tears he is too afraid to let anyone else see.

At fifteen years old, they are in their last year of middle school and Seungmin has learned to smile genuinely again. Hyunjin has never felt more grateful for anything in his life, because while they have only been best friends for a year and a half it is more than enough for him to know that he never wants another best friend again. In this year, they eat junk food and play video games in Seungmin's living room, angst loudly over helicopter parents and stressful projects, and as soon as they both get their first cellphone they are exchanging numbers and texting each other nonstop. Seungmin picks up a job as an assistant florist in the local grocery store with his mom's influence, and Hyunjin does his homework sitting in the Starbucks that can be found inside. They always find each other during the younger's break and share a hot chocolate (Because coffee is gross) and a cookie before he is back off to work. When his shift ends Hyunjin walks him home. They are excited to start high school together.

When they are sixteen years old, high school begins and they are lucky enough to be in the same class. They sit in the back near the windows and are always being scolded for not paying attention to the lessons. Seungmin gets straight A's and celebrates by taking Hyunjin to a meal once a month. Hyunjin gets A's and B's and celebrates by buying himself a package of Skittles and giving Seungmin all of the purple ones. Despite being a freshman, Hyunjin makes it onto the varsity soccer team and Seungmin still sings but as a member of choir. They meet new friends in high school- Felix and Jisung, who are loud even though Felix can hardly speak Korean, but it's okay because Seungmin and Jisung speak English very well and Hyunjin is more than passable even though he gets shy when he does it. With Jisung comes his friend Changbin, and with Changbin comes Minho. With Felix comes his cousin Chan and with Chan comes Woojin, and somehow during a group outing they meet Yang Jeongin who is in his last year of middle school and enamors them all immediately. Suddenly they have a lot of friends when they go to the mall and a group chat that never shuts up and they even go camping during breaks, but everyone knows that Seungmin and Hyunjin are a pair. They nickname themselves "Stray Kids" because they are edgy and cool like that. Seungmin laughs at it on the inside, but Hyunjin goes starry-eyed when they say it and he never teases the older for it.

It is at seventeen years old when Hyunjin's talent for soccer is really seen. He is a star player, but this does not stop him from going with Seungmin to his audition for the first time since he was fourteen. They hold hands and both audition for the company and both are accepted but Hyunjin has soccer and only auditioned for Seungmin's sake. Seungmin is happier than ever and everyone cheers him on even as he hangs out with them less and less to train. Hyunjin is a little bit lonely but instead of focusing on that he works harder in soccer and is already being offered scholarships. It is here that Jisung and Felix begin to date and while the group has not discussed sexuality before they all mutually agree that their two friends are both the most disgusting and adorable things in existence and support them wholeheartedly. Then one day Hyunjin is _so close_ to making the game-winning goal when he is slammed into and when he wakes up in the hospital he is told that his leg has been broken in two places and he will never play soccer again. He cries in  Seungmin's arms, because Seungmin has left training early and refused to leave his bedside since he got there, apparently. Seungmin does not feel right chasing his dream when Hyunjin's is ruined but he does not say it and keeps training. He feels guilty dancing as Hyunjin struggles to walk again.

By the time they are eighteen, Seungmin and Hyunjin are noticing little details about each other that they have always seen but never focused on. Hyunjin finds himself staring at Seungmin's coffee brown eyes and Seungmin finds himself admiring the softness of Hyunjin's skin. They study together often and no one brings up soccer around Hyunjin who is still in pain from his injury. Chan and Woojin are living together in a dorm on their college campus and oftentimes Seungmin finds himself there to cry to them about the unfairness of the world because his best friend should be able to run around without having to worry about fucking up his leg for life. They always pick up his broken pieces and put them back together for the time being. Eighteen years old is not the ball they were promised, but they make do. Eighteen years old means tip-toeing around uncomfortable subjects and staring just a moment too long and Jisung and Felix nearly breaking up because they were violently assaulted one night when on a date and they don't know how else to protect each other. Eighteen years old means crying themselves to sleep and pretending to smile in the morning and vomiting in school bathroom stalls because they are so anxious. Eighteen years old means going to arcades and sneaking out late at night to have group outings because what else are dumb teenage boys supposed to do?

At nineteen years old they are finishing high school and Seungmin and Hyunjin have found their smiles again. Hyunjin works in a convenience store and gets A's and B's. He celebrates by buying himself a package of Skittles and giving Seungmin two of the purple ones because he is dieting and can't eat them all like he used to. He thinks that's okay and gives Minho and Jeongin all of other purple Skittles. Seungmin gets high marks within the trainees and celebrates by taking Hyunjin to a meal every once in a while, but sometimes he brings Changbin and Woojin with them, too. Things are different but not in a bad way. Now when Seungmin brushes back Hyunjin's bangs, their hearts beat too fast in time and when their eyes meet, blushes adorn their features. One night when walking Seungmin home, Hyunjin boldly grabs his hand tightly and Seungmin smiles and they know in that moment they want to be together. So after Changbin's birthday party, when they are laying on his floor together to go to sleep at three a.m., Hyunjin whispers to him and asks to go on a date. Seungmin agrees and they start their relationship. They choose to keep it a secret for the younger's sake.

At twenty Seungmin is kicked out of the company after he is caught pressing his body against Hyunjin's on camera. It creates a huge scandal because he is a well-known trainee and he is both publicly shamed and shown support. He and Hyunjin are both kicked out of their homes by their parents and are forced to move into a shitty apartment where Seungmin spends most of his time because it is hard for him to go out without being stared at. Their friends are supportive and they go on double-dates with Jisung and Felix, and Jeongin likes to fifth wheel himself for free food, so it could be worse. They are able to stay together, at least.

They don't kiss.

Seungmin likes to wake Hyunjin up by cooking a breakfast consisting of eggs and whatever else he feels like. He softly shakes his shoulder and watches with a fond smile as the older slowly finds his mind awake, and his hazy eyes flutter open beautifully. They eat together and Hyunjin works at a department store and Seungmin at a tech support center. When he returns stressed out over impatient and incompetent callers, Hyunjin draws him a warm bubble bath and they take it together despite the cramped space, the older rubbing the tenseness out of his shoulders and whispering reassurances. They make him feel warm inside, even warmer than the soapy bath water and he loves it. If they happen to be unable to sleep, they drink coffee and reminisce about when they were fifteen and drank hot chocolate during Seungmin's breaks because they thought coffee was gross.

They like to go on hikes when they both have time off because no one stares at Seungmin and whispers. They'll pack a simple lunch and head out early in the morning and enjoy the misty air of the mountains and hills. They talk about everything and nothing and wonder if Changbin has confessed to Chan because he is painfully in love, and speculate on whether or not Jeongin is actually as into Minho as he seems to be. Seungmin almost always spots just a bit of food on the corner of Hyunjin's mouth and wipes it away with the pad of his thumb, and in return Hyunjin always makes sure they take a selca with him back-hugging the younger because it is too cute to not capture every single time.

Tuesdays are date night and they almost always find themselves at karaoke. Hyunjin's singing has improved slightly over the years but he still is best at rapping and Seungmin tries to hide his laugh. Unlike before, he no longer cries when he tries to sing because he has realized that for him, a career as a singer was never meant to be and he could live with that so long as he had Hyunjin by his side.

Somewhere along the line Seungmin quits his job because he hates it far too much and the older is making enough money to support them both now. They're still stuck living in their shitty apartment but it has become a home to them. They have come to like the cracks in the walls, the peeling yellow paint, the probably-moldy carpet and the polka dot curtains Woojin gifted to them as a joke because they clashed so terribly with the rest of the apartment. They cuddle in bed and when it is sunny they find themselves walking to the Han River, staring at the sun with self-satisfied smiles because to each other, they are the sun. They're probably damaging their eyes but they don't find it in themselves to care.

Hyunjin convinces Seungmin to dye his hair red and it looks beautiful. He also convinces his boyfriend to start selling his art online, because he has taken up painting since he quit his job and his pieces are gorgeous. They stay up late into the night together as Hyunjin poses and Seungmin paints. Then they climb into a lumpy bed and Hyunjin wraps his arms around Seungmin's chest and tucks his chin atop the younger's shoulder. He breathes in the scent of sandalwood cologne and they tangle their feet together as they fall asleep. Always, Seungmin wakes up facing the other's chest, hands grasping his pajama top unlike how they fell asleep.

Always, he blushes and thinks about how lucky he is.

They are twenty-one.

They don't kiss.

Seungmin can go in public without being stared at as much, despite his bright red hair. They hold hands every time they leave together, fingers intertwining and Hyunjin's other hand coming to run through the soft colored hair. Oftentimes, they will have breakfast with as many or all of the members of _Stray Kids_ as they still call themselves. Chan is a recognized producer with  Jisung and Changbin, Woojin is working as a tattoo artist at the shop Minho has opened, Felix is in college with Jeongin still and everyone is busy. The groupchat from their early days is much quieter than it used to be, but it isn't that sad. It is life and Hyunjin has more trouble accepting it than Seungmin. It takes a lot of mopping up tears with blue-and-white striped sleeves and whispered reassurances in warm ears.

They don't see their families anymore. They have been shunned entirely, and that was harder for Seungmin than Hyunjin but he learns to deal with it. The two are happy enough and they end up adopting a half-blind dog from a shelter secretly one afternoon because Seungmin was volunteering and he simply could not leave her behind. Technically it is against the rules and they could get kicked out of the apartment, but the landlord rarely shows up and they doubt he actually cares. The dog's name is Sophie and she is white and grey and a mutt and they love her. She makes their family feel a little fuller when they aren't together.

The lights in the apartment are always flickering and it gives their hugs a different sense of intimacy. Seungmin wraps his arms around Hyunjin's slender neck, resting their cheeks together as they breathe in through their noses. Their bodies are pressed flush and they can feel every contraction of every muscle and the beating of their hearts and it is distinctly _them_. Distinctly  Seungmin and Hyunjin, distinctly Hyunjin and Seungmin. The flickering of the old, yellowed lights makes the younger shiver and cling impossibly tighter and the older buries his nose into his dyed red hair and sometimes their eyes mist up because they just _love_ each other that much.

Sometimes they put music on and dance obnoxiously loud at one a.m. because Hyunjin doesn't mind going to work exhausted- He will be exhilarated by the end of it anyway, even if sometimes it makes his old injury ache and reminds him of what he lost. Sophie occasionally barks along to the music and they piss of their neighbors but not once did he or Seungmin care. Their relationship is harder to understand from an outside perspective yet the ones who _truly_ love them don't question it at all.  Jisung and Felix like to pop in every other month, bearing the gifts of fruit and friendship and old memories. They go on double dates sometimes just like a few years ago, and Jeongin still sometimes fifth wheels himself for free food. It is fun to go to markets together and getting sundaes and teasing each other for being disgustingly lovey-dovey.

Seungmin has fallen in love with Hyunjin's eye smile and his laughter, his soft skin and the way their bodies fit together. He has fallen in love with his big heart and strength and ability to recover from everything, no matter how much life throws at him. Hyunjin has fallen in love with Seungmin's beauty marks and his loud voice, his coffee brown eyes and how comfortably he lays in his arms. He has fallen in love with his eager disposition and his hard work and his ability to always get his smile back. It is such a beautiful thing to be in love with someone, and Seungmin knows he is lucky to have found Hwang Hyunjin. Just the same, Hyunjin knows he is lucky to have found Kim Seungmin.

They are not two halves of the same whole, Seungmin argues. Instead, they are two whole people who simply make the other _better_ , Hyunjin supports. This is how they are.

They do not kiss.

There is no specific reason for this, but maybe they will one day. Or maybe they won't.

Neither could care less either way, because they love each other.


End file.
